I know this may be a bit premature for some of you (who may still be at the bump stage!) but many of you will already have other children, and many of my pregnant clients have gone on to become regular clients with children who are now toddler age.... Either way, it is useful reading!
I have recently come across this technique and have used it with my daughter when she is in one of her 'naughty' phases - well, she is 3! What do I expect?! It must be very difficult for children to learn boundaries when we as parents keep shifting them! We change what they can and can't do on a regular basis as they grow and develop. For example, at first they must only go up and down the stairs when holding mummy's hand, then in a few month's time they are suddenly allowed to do it on their own - it's not surprising they keep pushing boundaries on other issues with us as well! We are doing this because as parents we can tell when it is safe for them to now do something on their own - but to a toddler's mind it must be very confusing!
Anyway, needless to say there are times when my daughter pushes the limits (of the boundaries and my patience!) and her behaviour becomes 'naughty'! The technique I now use was actually introduced to me on a relaxation workshop - nothing to do with children! However, I have found it really beneficial at quickly diffusing a situation. It is a Hawaiian technique called Ho'oponopono and it just consists of saying four phrases: "I love you", "I am sorry", "Please forgive me", "Thank you". I say each phrase first and my daughter repeats it back to me. What we are both hearing and acknowledging is our own input into whatever disagreement has taken place, rather than just blaming the other person. My daughter knows she has done something 'wrong', but also knows that mummy still loves her and it is OK to move forward with the day and having fun - no resentment is held. Try it and see! You understand your child's behaviour for what it is (just behaviour, and not the child themself) and learn where you need to be clearer in your communication with your child. Your whole relationship becomes much easier and more enjoyable.
Let me know how you get on! (maybe we should apply this technique with our partners too?!)
Sarah x
Bump 2 Baby Bliss - Specialist Pregnancy and Baby Massage
07786 150 998
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